Two Backseat Barbariansby Eva Pasco Author of "Underlying Notes"
Before lap belts and
harness seat belts were standard auto features, my father
would draw an imaginary Maginot Line along the backseat to keep my
sister and I at our respective windows. The
gesture did little to quel our arguements on family
trips, prompting my dad to pull over along the highway to
discipline both of us and inflict shame by calling us
barbarians ...
I shake my head and marvel
how any of us children of the Sixties could
have turned out fine as I mind travel down
my own memory lane...
* My sister and I often
sprawled out in the back of our family station wagon with
nothing to safeguard us against potential injuries
sustained by bumps or abrupt stops. We'd egg our
father to drive over the jersey bounds on
Cobble Hill Road as though our vehicle was part of a roller coaster
train.
* My sister and I loved
those smoking guns--cap guns, of course. We also took
perverse pleasure in pounding a strip of caps to see who could
produce the loudest explosion.
* Remember those candy
cigarettes? My sister and I must have smoked a pack a day as
we strutted in our mom's vintage clothing, fake fur
stoles, wide-brimmed hats, and high heels like
two Madison Ave. society matrons.
* My sister and I could never quench
our thirst slurping down syrup from wax molded in the
shape of mini Vodka bottles.
* Like all children of the
Sixties, we had our fair share of skinned and scraped knees
our mom benevolently painted with Mercurochrome.
We even had our temperatures taken with a mercurial
thermometer. Now, we've all been scared silly about breaking
one of those new energy saving lightbulbs for fear
of emiting Mercury into the environment.
Ha!
* Unmasked, my sister and I
inhaled plenty of toxic fumes from spray paint and modeling glue
working on our science projects.
* In elementary school,
we toted our lunch to school in metal lunchboxes without
the benefit of ice packs to chill mayonnaise. We drank
milk from slippery glass bottles despite the high incidence of
drop and splatter. Every kid we knew who carried their
own thermos had it filled with milk, the only
beverage acceptable for growing children. * Swamped with homework, we
carried our schoolbooks like a layered cake bound by a rubber
strap, throwing off our gait at the hip. Although, today's
backpacks cause our youth to slump forward.
*My sister and
I watched our quota of violent cartoons such
as "Popeye" and reruns of "The Three Stooges."
Though our friends may have nyuck
nyucked, all of us knew better than to
smash a plate over someone's head or poke our fingers in each
other's eyes.
I'm just one
of many Baby Boomers who survived
such childhood ordeals, seemingly unscathed. Even though
consumer advocates and politically correct stumpers may
have made inroads in the name of safety, the restrictive
straight jacket of the harness seatbelt couldn't
prevent two backseat barbarians from brawling and
invading each other's territory.
Copies of Underlying Notes by
Eva Pasco may be purchased here:
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.jpg "The 60s - Carl - 1968 - Vietnam")
